David Deangelo asks, “What is one thing you should do daily that you are not doing that only takes a half hour?” He continues that to make massive changes you need to leave behind that part of you that resists change.
To understand change you also need to understand what is already influencing your decisions, i.e. the six human needs we have been discussing.
Now it is time to clarify which two of the six needs most impact your choices, Anthony Robbins calls this the driving force of your life.
For instance, someone who is driven by significance and variety will have a very different experience than someone driven by love and growth. Neither is right or wrong, but it is important to know which two needs are the highest for you.
If you are in a relationship you need to ask your partner their top two needs. If you are focusing on needs that are not at the top of their list then you can understand where you need to focus to make your relationship grow. You can also understand your partner much better as you come to know their top needs.
Once you identify your top two needs the next step is to identify at least three ways to meet each need in at least three ways that are good for you and good for others. Next do the same for your partner. Do the latter in the way they need.
For instance, if their top need is significance, simply ask them, “What must happen or what must I do to help you feel significant?”
Once you are done with this process you will have several things to focus on doing daily to have the highest fulfillment as an individual and as a couple.
Remember, all six needs are important, and at any time we are trying to meet all of them. However, there is a hierarchy to the needs and it is imperative we understand our top two needs. The way we rank these needs may change during different seasons of our life.
You now have several tools to work with including an understanding of the six human needs, the power of pain and pleasure, the need for immediate consequences and how money can be used as a motivating carrot and stick.
Tomorrow we will discuss something you have carried with you every day of your life; and it can be your greatest enemy or your biggest fan.