Have you ever met anyone who has a character flaw so obvious that everyone around them sees it, but they are blissfully and completely unaware that it even exists. This is what I call a “blindspot”. When you mention something they fear about themselves, they think you have “hidden cameras” on them because you know their secrets. But to everyone around them it’s obvious. We all have them to varying degrees. I have them, and yes even you have them.
The lighted mirrors to these blindspots often occurs in very close relationships. An ancient prophet once said “iron sharpens iron”. God created relationships for many reasons. One of those is that we can cause and prompt each other to grow up and into our destiny, purpose and maturity; taking full responsibility for our own actions and character development.
There are many different blindspots we can have. Often we don’t notice them, as much as we notice their effect on other people. When these things happen, we often think it is them that is flawed, or has hang ups. Where in truth they are often reacting to what you’re putting out there. Part of our growing up process is about humbling ourselves to be teachable and really listen to what people and events around us are trying to tell us. Some of these blindspots or characteristics could be:
1. being condescending or patronising
2. being unteachable
3. not listening to the heart of what someone is trying to say
4. being insensitive
5. being arrogant
6. being competitive
7. being rigid and having lots of rules about things
8. being intimidating
9. being a perfectionist
10. holding people to a double standard
These are just a few. Do you recognise these characteristics in anyone else? Can you perhaps see any of these things in yourself? Or has anyone ever told you that you are being any of these things? Have you just shrugged it off and put it down to being their problem?
Becoming better and personal growth is about starting to recognise and deal with some of these things. We all need a wake-up call once in a while.
Take 5 minutes right now and think about what some of the people who care about and are close to you, have tried to tell you. If you’re feeling brave and are really serious about this, you could even ask someone who loves you, to be honest with you about their observations of your blindspots. You don’t have to take it on as truth. Though it is certainly their true perception of who you are being at certain times.
It does not bring out the best in you or others, and is therefore not an empowering model of behaviour. Who are you? What do you stand for? How do you want to be remembered? Maybe now is a good time to be humble and teachable. Be gracious to yourself and others. Choose to be a bigger person with more empowering values and start behaving as who you have consciously decided to be. Learn to catch yourself when you aren’t being your best or living according to your values, and with practice, you will get better at it.
Choose your values and live them everyday!